Single H Returns To EWE

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Single H Returns To EWE

Post by Single H on Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:26 am

The camera fades into the backstage corridor of the Staples Center. We see Single H walking down the aisle, a broad grin across his face. A member of the backstage crew wander past and Single H grabs them, he points at their nose and looks confused. The crew are now used to this trick, and the man doesn't look down as he knows he will only get flicked in the face. Instead, Single H kicks him in the nuts, laughs and continues on his way.

Michael Cole: Well we knew he was going to be here ladies and gentlemen, Single H. One of the more... Interesting characters in EWE history.

Matt Striker: Looks like he's on his way down to the ring!

Sure enough, the camera fades back to ringside and focuses on the stage.



Single H walks out onto stage with the grin still etched onto his face. He raises his arms up in the air and begins to make his way down to the ring. Single H enters the ring and grabs a microphone. He stands there for a while, twirling the mic around his hand before raising it up and speaking.

SINGLE H
Well HI THERE!

The fans cheer and Single H nods his head approvingly, he then continues with what he way going to say.

SINGLE H
A lot has happened since the last time I was standing in an EWE ring... I was involved in a different company similar to this one while EWE was gone but... Well, that one went bankrupt even faster than this one. I did have some good moments there though... Enough about that before I get fired, trust me, it's been a rough time trying to make a living without a company for me to ride with, I've been wearing these same jeans for the past 2 months... But now, now that I'm finally home... I can finally get a new pair of jeans. Thank you, thank you.

The camera zooms into the jeans of Single H and sure enough, they are covered in stains and god knows what else.

SINGLE H
But for me, wrestling isn't about money. It's about having a good time, winning matches and more than anything, pissing people off. It's what makes me happy. Tonight, I'll be opening XPlosion by facing Cody Rhodes. Now Cody was involved in the Pay-Per-View I made my debut on, and since that has absolutely no relevance to tonight, I won't mention that again. Cody Rhodes, being one of EWE's bigger stars, probably thinks he has it easy tonight when he faces me. That's the charm of having this kind of attitude, people think that just because I have a parody name and a silly attitude towards what I do, that I'm no threat when it comes to the ring, and I guess they have reason to think that. I've never won a world title in EWE, I've never even won a world title in MWA... Or hell, not even FW!

The fans boo at Single H's misfortune, Single H nods his head and looks up.

SINGLE H
But that's only because every company I've been in so far has died before I got the chance to truly make it big. Not this time around, I promise each and every one of you here tonight that before this year is out, Single H will be your EWE champion. Cody Rhodes is going to be my first stop on the road to this great task, and I'm going to go straight through him to prove to everyone, especially the boss, Chris Jericho that I am worthy of becoming champion and I will become champion.

Single H looks at his watch and nods his head and claps his hands enthusiastically.

SINGLE H
Right, that should be enough stupid, dramatic shit for the production team to fit into a promo video for my next PPV match, now onto ripping the fuck out of CODY RHODES!!!

The fans cheer at the return of the Single H they all know and love.

SINGLE H
Let me be the first to say, that I would rather wear these disgusting, dirty-ass jeans... I would rather wear the PUTRID green shirt of John Cena, than wear what Cody wears to the ring each and every time he has a match. Who wears briefs and boots? AT LEAST BUY SOME DAMN KNEE PADS, WOULD YA? You look like something you'd see in EHDW... I don't care if I can't say that, it's true.

A guy comes up from the ring crew and whispers something in the ear of Single H.

SINGLE H
What do you mean I'm not allowed to mention EHDW? Sir, I must not tell a lie, Cody would certainly fit in there with his extremely homosexual looking outfit. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, I might add.) But for the straight fans among us, I think I speak for us all when I say: Please, Cody Rhodes. In your match with me today, please wear something. And I don't mean wear a leather jacket down to the ring. Wear something. I don't want a repeat of the Bangkok incident.

Single H pulls some knee pads and a pear of wrestling tights from the tennis bag over his shoulder, he places them in the middle of the ring.

SINGLE H
Cody, I'm going to leave this here, I want you to come down to the ring now, DRESSED, I MIGHT ADD, and take this ring attire. It's for the best of everyone, including yourself.

Single H rolls out of the ring and awaits Rhodes.

TBC - Roads


Last edited by Single H on Wed Apr 04, 2012 2:20 am; edited 2 times in total

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Re: Single H Returns To EWE

Post by Cody Rhodes on Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:15 am



Cody Rhodes walks out onto the stage mic in hand and in his usual attire, briefs, boots and a leather jacket/hoodie with his hood flung far over his face covering it. He walks down to the ring whilst the crowd are chanting “EWE! EWE! EWE!” causing Rhodes to smirk to himself as he slides under the bottom rope and stands up to Single H. The crowd are still chanting the word EWE over and over, Rhodes smiles, and puts the mic to his lips.

Rhodes: EWE! EWE! EWE! SHUTUP! You’re all chanting the wrong thing! You should be chanting ME! CODY RHODES! Not this stupid company! Heck, I’m the thing that makes EWE chantable in the first place! I’m the face of EWE! And a beautiful face at that.

The crowd boo, and Rhodes smiles to himself before looking back at Single H.

Rhodes: So…it was nice of you to gift me with some nice clothes, but I would really suggest using them yourself. Honestly, you must be fucking poor because your jeans look like they were found at the bottom of a mud pile.

Single H looks down at his jeans and kicks his legs about to try and get a good view of them. Rhodes picks up the gear left in the centre of the ring.

Rhodes: So you may want to reconsider giving me this, poor boy.

Rhodes shoves the gear into Single H’s chest causing Single H to grab them and stumble back.

Rhodes: You’ve never been a champion because you suck, not because the federation ended before you could get there. Heck, the reason all those federations went down were because you were in them. You never have been champion, and you never will be a champion, because you're nothing!

The crowd boo, causing Rhodes to turn viciously.

Rhodes: Oh don’t any of you pipe up, because none of you are any better! You’re all pieces of dirt, you are all the scum of EWE, but none of you are as bad as HIM! Don’t you find it funny? Huh poor boy? That every federation you’ve been in closes down mere months or weeks after you’ve joined? It’s because no one wants to watch a piece of shit like you, so they all stop watching, flick to the next channel and start watching their new favourite wrestling show. Because of you federations get screwed, and tonight I’m going to take you out before you can add EWE to your list.

Rhodes slaps all the gear out of Single H’s hands so it flies over his head and all over the floor. Rhodes smiles and turns to leave the ring, but Single H stops him.

Single H: Wait!

Rhodes pauses, and turns back to face Single H, cocky smile glued to his face.

Rhodes: What is it you want now poor boy?

TBC- Single H
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Re: Single H Returns To EWE

Post by Single H on Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:27 am

Single H holds his hand out in front of Cody Rhode's face for a good few seconds before proceeding with what he was going to say.

SINGLE H
Technically, I already added EWE to my "list" like a year ago, so you're kind of late stopping me on that front... And second, you don't seem to be making any sense. First you come out here saying how the people shouldn't be chanting EWE, and now you say you want to end me in order to defend the company? What, do you like this company or not?

Single H picks up the attire and pushes it into the chest of Cody Rhodes.

SINGLE H
And I thought I told you to come down to the ring with some clothes on. Hurry up and get these on quick before 9Gag makes you into an "epic meme."

Cody Rhodes shakes his head and drops the clothes down onto the ground.

SINGLE H
Hey buddy, you dropped your clothes, lemme help you with that.

Single H picks the clothes back up and tries to hand them back to Cody who simply stands there, not taking them.

SINGLE H
Ok, I see how it is. Don't worry man, I'm not a homophobe. Being gay is ok!

Single H gives the thumbs up to Cody Rhodes who snatches the microphone away and interrupts him.

TBC - Roads or anyone

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Re: Single H Returns To EWE

Post by Edge on Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:14 am



The crowd cheers! Wearing a suit and sunglasses walks out EWE XPlosion's new General Manager, Edge!

Justin Roberts: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome, Saturday Night XPlosion's General Manager...The Rated R Superstar!...EDGE!!!

Edge smiles as he looks out at the packed arena before speaking as the music dies down.

EDGE
First of all I want to welcome everyone to my show!...To make it clear I want everybody to know that this show is Rated R. The crowd cheers! I'm serious!...Anyway, Chris gave me a call and asked me to become the GM for this show, well, as one of the EWE originals, could I ever say 'no'?

The crowd cheers even more loudly!

EDGE
Anyhow it happened like last week, we went out for some tacos and all that jazz, and Jericho turns to me and says he's bringing back the federation...and he still wants to sign the wrestlers' paychecks on weed. I convinced him not to, and after we concluded it was a good idea, he said he probably would need someone responsible in power...he gave me a paper to sign, I put my General Manager boots on and here I am...The Rated R Superstar is the General Manager of Saturday Night XPlosion ladies and gentlemen...and I promise you, this show will never again be boring...after all, it's not like Lance Storm is still in charge.

The crowd laughs...

EDGE
And these kids have some timing. Just when I was about to come out and announce this, Single fuckin' H beats me to it, and comes down to the ring saying he wants gold...Well you want gold pal? And you Rhodes, I haven't seen you since Randy and I kicked your tiny little ass at Homecoming...Hmph...You want gold too? You want to be the face of the company?...Well I thought of a solution, a solution you would only see in the Empire. A solution that will make both of you hurt like never before...I'm making your match tonight...a Tables match!... The crowd goes wild!! And the winner will become our new Legends Champion!...Now how about that? Good idea?

The crowd cheers loudly!

EDGE
Calm down...I'm not done yet. Next week!...Whoever wins the Legends Championship title belt tonight, will be in a Triple Threat with this week's opponent, and the Animal, Batista!... The Rated R Era has begun, boys...Edge takes his shades off...Let's see if you can handle it.



Edge turns his back and goes to leave.

TBC- Roads or Stifler
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Re: Single H Returns To EWE

Post by Single H on Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:22 am

Single H nods his head approvingly. Cody Rhodes does a weird smile and goes to say something but he is cut off.

SINGLE H
No, you had your chance to say something earlier. Edge, thanks for the opportunity, I'll definitely become the Legends Champion tonight, and then go onto face TISTA.

The crowd begin chanting "Tista" repeatedly.

SINGLE H
Well, if that'll be all, I'll be heading to the back to get ready for this tables match you've just set me up in... Why do I always get the tables matches?

Single H climbs out of the ring and walks up the ramp. When he is at the very top of the ramp, Single H turns around with a huge smile on his face.

SINGLE H
Oh and Cody, your dad is fat.

Single H runs backstage, laughing loudly.

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Re: Single H Returns To EWE

Post by Cody Rhodes on Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:12 am

The fans laugh, causing Rhodes to turn viciously.

Rhodes: What’re you all laughing at! Shut up!

Rhodes turns back and sees Edge walking out!

Rhodes: HEY EDGE! LISTEN TO ME! EDGE! STOP! LISTEN!

Edge walks backstage.

Rhodes: God DAMMIT!

The fans are in tears of laughter, causing Rhodes to be embarrassed.

Rhodes: Oh, you think this is funny huh? Well it won’t be funny when that poor boy Single H is getting slammed face first through a table! Prepare to see the beautiful face of EWE wearing championship gold around his waist after tonight, the Legends Championship.

The crowd go from laughing to booing, allowing Rhodes to don his cocky smile again.

Rhodes: And as for the poor boy Single H? Well after tonight he’ll never want to show his face again. Not out of embarrassment from him having lost his chance at becoming the Legends Champion, but because his face will be smashed and bleeding from when I send him through that table tonight. It will be the exact opposite of my face, my face is the personification of beauty. Single H however...is the personification of ugly, and he is who I will save you all from tonight, because I know you don’t want EWE to end up like all those other federations.

The crowd boo Rhodes as he laughs to himself and continues to wear his signature arrogant grin. He looks down at the pile of gear that Single H tried to push onto Cody earlier, before picking it up and throwing it into ringside. Rhodes smirks, before rolling under the bottom rope, walking up the ramp and going backstage, smile on face the entire time.

END OF PROMO
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